Hey Siri, Publish!

 I'm back!

It's crazy that after so many years I would be back writing here again. I deleted all of my previous posts because I just really want to start fresh. New blog, who dis?

I don't necessarily have big plans for this blog; I really just want it to be a creative outlet for me. It's been a really long time since I felt like being creative. It was and still kind of is my dream to be an author, but since graduating college many moons ago, the lack of inspiration and motivation to actually write has been a problem for me.

For a couple of years, I tried to do youtube videos. I mean.... they turned out decently.... I guess....  But I wasn't really that into it. I loved the finished products of the videos themselves, but the effort to get there was just too much. I hated filming the videos because it took so long and I'm not the best at speaking under pressure (granted it was pressure I put on myself but still), and the HOURS it took to edit the videos was just awful. I hated it. It wasn't worth it to spend all of that time on it. I was proud of what I was able to accomplish with those videos, but the entire process just wasn't for me.

I would watch the videos, and the person talking just didn't seem like me. I tried way too hard. I was putting on a show for the camera to seem cool or something. I'm definitely not cool... trust me, I am very well aware of that fact.

In the last year or two, I have really come to appreciate my anonymity in this world. Yeah, of course, people know me (because I am my father's daughter, that's for sure), but I like not being popular on social media or whatever. I don't really use social media that often. If I do, it's mostly just to like posts. I rarely post on Insta or Facebook, and my Twitter profile is mostly just retweets. I'm not completely anonymous, but enough that I feel comfortable. 

*side note: thank fuck for auto correct and spell check because I can't spell the word annonomyous to save my life ;) *

I am an introvert. Anyone who knows me knows that I would rather spend my life at home than anywhere else. Partially, that's because home is where my cat is. And also sweatpants.

.....Anyways, being around a lot of people has always been really hard for me. I get anxious and feel the need to pretend that I'm outgoing, which is really hard on my self esteem and mental health. During the pandemic, I joke all the time that my entire life has prepared me for quarantine. The joke doesn't seem to land too often because I don't think most people get it... and that's ok. Most people like going outside and doing stuff. They're crazy, but hey, to each their own.

I don't plan to really talk about the pandemic or quarantine or anything like that in this blog. It might get mentioned like it just did, but I don't plan to dwell on it. I want this blog to be my safe place where the world isn't in shambles, and I am just free to be me.

I will, however, be posting a hodge podge of random crap. Look at the title of my blog: The World According to Jenny. That's what this will be: my world. I am going to post about some of my favorite things like books, movies, and food. I will post random stories from my past. I might even share some of my fiction... if I can find the courage to hit publish. 

This blog isn't for other people. If other people want to read my posts and you're able to get something out of it, then that's pretty cool. But I'm not doing this to change the world or make a difference or have a platform or make money or whatever reasons people have for doing this kind of stuff. I am doing this for me.

I've been struggling with my mental health in the last few months worse than usual. I know a lot of my relationships have suffered because of it. Mainly my relationship with myself is the worst it has ever been. So I decided that I wanted to try something new to help with my mental health... and here I am! I've always been a writer, and I really want to get back to the basics of who I am.

So yeah, I'm back. If you want to follow my "journey" of getting back into creativity, well then welcome. Enter at your own risk. Otherwise, I'll just be here.... posting pictures and comments about that amazing salad I ate three weeks ago, laughing at myself after attempting (and failing) a makeup trend, and cringing at a terrible book I read last year that I can't get out of my head.

Okay byeeeeeeee! :)