Vegan Cheese #2: Chao

 Welcome back, everyone!

Today, I'm going to talk about the magic that is Chao vegan cheese. This is by far the best experience I've had with vegan cheese, and it's one I will have on hand forever.

The first one I bought was the smoked original slices. 

Something I love about this brand is that they aren't really trying to be any specific kind of cheese; they just are a vegan cheese all their own. This smoked original kind of tastes a bit like gouda, but it's its own thing, and I appreciate that!

This was, if I remember correctly, my first real experience using the vegan cheeses in my home life. I made a vegan grilled cheese. I don't have a picture, but... it's a grilled cheese. Ya'll know what they look like.

I used a sea salt and olive oil margarine, this smoked original Chao slice, and a New York Salt Rye bread fresh from the bakery nearby. 

I don't typically like crispy anything, so my grilled cheeses tend to be more like warm cheese sandwiches. That's how I like them, which most people probably find odd, but I don't really care.

The cheese didn't really melt too much probably because I didn't heat the grilled cheese as much as you're supposed to. I know that vegan cheese doesn't tend to melt all that well, so I expected it not to melt. When I made one for my boyfriend the next day, I made it properly because he likes crispy, and he said that it was perfect. The cheese was apparently melty enough.

All I have to say is WOW! The grilled cheese was incredible. It was salty and buttery and delicious. The cheese has such a lovely smoke flavor! The grilled cheese literally changed my life. I really felt like I could just eat cheese and not feel sick or guilty about it. I could go back to my normal eating habits a bit (I used to eat SO MUCH cheese!).

I don't want to be too dramatic about it, but it was a big moment for me. I almost cried if I'm being totally honest. 

Next, I tried the Garden Herb slices. 

These slices aren't my favorite. I don't think it's one that I will just have on hand all the time because the flavor profile isn't one that would lend itself well to my every day eating. It's kind of like pepperjack in that sense for me. I use it for very specific circumstances, so I don't tend to keep it on hand.

I put this on a turkey sandwich, and it worked really well. The black pepper flavor plus the saltiness and herby-ness was reallllly tasty. I think that if I ever plan to make sandwiches, which isn't that often, this is the cheese I would go to.  Not anything life changing, but still super tasty.

Then there's the Creamy Original blocks.

This is what I needed in my life.

When I was in high school and college, I used to just eat blocks of cheese. Literally, I would eat right from the block. It was a snack that I looooved. So when I realized that dairy was making me sick, I had to stop doing that, and it was really sad.

But this shit? OMG! The texture is something to get used to because it isn't real cheese (if you haven't tried vegan cheese, it will probably be odd to you), but it's delicious! It's nice and salty and creamy and just plain wonderful! I can eat a block of cheese and not feel bad about it. 

My boyfriend and I are planning to make fajitas soon, and so I plan to shred one of these bad boys up and sprinkle it right onto them. I am literally so excited! 

It's just magical, really.

And last but definitely not least, the Chao Mac and Cheese.

It doesn't look like much, I know, but please believe me when I tell you how goooood it is. 

It's pretty darn expensive (like most vegan cheese products, unfortunately), but it's definitely worth it in my opinion.

I've eaten a lot of mac and cheeses in my life. With the exception of homemade mac and cheese (specifically my grandma's recipe), this is the best mac and cheese I've ever had. That includes frozen, restaurants, and box meals. That's a big statement, I know, but it's that good.

t's perfectly creamy and salty with a hint of spice. I usually add a bit of black pepper just to up the spice hit a notch. If you didn't know it was vegan, you wouldn't be able to tell.

The noodles are a tad overcooked, and I don't care for elbow noodles in the first place, but that just comes with the territory of eating a frozen meal. I'm fairly used to that.

I stocked up on these the last time I went grocery shopping because I'm obsessed. It's a really nice treat for me to have if I just want something warm and home-y. If you're into vegan cheeses, I highly recommend this mac and cheese because it'll probably blow your mind just like it blew mine.

So yeah, that's my experience with Chao vegan cheeses. I know it seems a bit dramatic, but if you know me, you know how much I love cheese. Having cheese in my home again that I can just add to the food I make is crazy and wonderful. It's been so long since I've had that experience. Because, for the most part, there's no such thing as too much cheese.

Uncoordinated and Unhappy

 PE was a rough time for kids like me. I am super uncoordinated, I'm a little overweight, and I don't like physically activity. That's how I was when I was younger and that's how I am now.

So basically, PE was my hell. Especially when most of the other kids were super into PE.

When I was super young, I actually kind of liked PE because it was fun games and activities for kids, so I could feel comfortable taking part. But as I hit puberty, the changes and differences became real. So this post is going to be some of my experiences with PE.... and mostly about why I hated it.

Forcing kids in junior high and high school to shower together in an open concept shower is cruel, in my opinion. It's asking us to compare ourselves to other people our age and wonder why we don't look the same as other people. It's a big reason that I hated PE. I hated working up a sweat and showering in front of these skinny girls who looked so different than how I looked. In some cases, how I wish I looked. There should be curtains or partitions, and I am still disgusted that this is just the way it is. I genuinely don't understand it.... 

There were a couple of things I was good at in PE, which people who know me probably find shocking. I was surprisingly decent at hockey, I was good at dodging the balls in dodgeball (not so much at throwing, though, so I was often the last hope for our team and then we lost). I also really enjoyed the made up games we used to play like Steal the Bacon. I enjoyed kickball and capture the flag, too. PE wasn't always so awful. I think it depended on who was in PE with me. Some of my classmates were a little too into PE (in my opinion) but some were really there to have fun.

I remember one time in kickball, I was up and ready to kick, and the pitcher threw the ball as a joke instead of rolling it, and it hit me square in the face. I was shook. It hurt but it was honestly really funny. The pitcher, who was one of the popular guys who seemed to actually like me (but wouldn't admit it because I wasn't popular), ran up to me and was freaking out because he felt so bad. I was just laughing my ass off. I told him I was fine and it was no big deal, but the PE teacher FREAKED OUT! Yelled at him that it was kickball and the pitcher should roll the ball and not throw it. I kept trying to say it was fine and not a big deal. This kid looked like he had been kicked in the nuts. Shit happens, ya know? It wasn't the first time I caught a ball in the face and it definitely wasn't the last. 

I don't know why I remember that so well, but it was just one of those moments that sticks in my head.

Another moment I remember was while playing our schools' version of Capture the Flag (instead of flags, we had a few bowling pins we had to get). All of my teammates were in jail, and the kids on the other team knew I wasn't a very fast runner, so they just kind of laughed with each other because they thought they had won. In a moment of pure courage for me, I made a run for it and got my teammates out of jail.

I don't know how I did it successfully to be completely honest. I guess I used my disadvantage of being slow and uncoordinated to my advantage. I was really proud of myself.

Unfortunately, most of my PE experiences are overrun with negative memories.

I hated the couple times a year we had to do the testing. Ya know, pullups, pushups, the mile... omg.... I always felt sooooo inadequate. I know for a fact that there were years that I would get absolutely 0 on pullups, and I almost always had the longest time in the mile.

At least once I finished embarrassing myself on the pullups and pushups and whatever else, I could go to the back of the gym and make fun of myself with my friends while the star PE kids would go and get high numbers. My embarrassment ended quickly.

With the mile, however, it was torture. I would do a mix of light jogging with mostly walking. I hated being watched and timed. If I wasn't timed and if no one watched me, I think I could have maybe enjoyed it, but the added pressure just made me more anxious and nervous. Other kids would run the mile in just a few minutes, while my time was always WAY higher. I would struggle with one or two other kids, and the kids who had already finished would sit on the grass watching and being bored waiting. Knowing that you're the reason that the other kids can't go inside and play dodgeball? Knowing that the other kids are either making fun of you because you're fat and slow, or they hate you because they're bored and just want to go inside? Getting judged because of how long it takes you to run the mile? It was cruel and unusual punishment. 

I remember the only year in high school I took PE. The PE teacher didn't really give a shit and didn't want to sit outside and wait for us to finish the mile, so his rule was that we only had to run the half mile and then he would double our time. It felt like a saving grace. Half a mile, although still challenging, was less stressful for me. I could do it. I would still be slow, but not as crazy slow.

However, it turned out to be one of the worst experiences of my life with one caveat: it showed me that the girls in my class weren't complete assholes all the time. 

So shortly before that fateful day, I had been told that I had irregular heartbeats. I had to go see a specialist, who made me wear a heart monitor for 48 hours. It just so happened, that on one of those days, we ran the (half)mile in PE. I was not allowed to do much physical activity with this heart monitor because the doctor wanted to see what just normal life was like for me (I also wasn't allowed to dance during our musical rehearsals).

The PE teacher forced me to participate on that day, though, instead of either not making me do it at all or rescheduling it for another day. So I had to slowly walk because I couldn't get my heart beating too fast. I basically walked the half mile at a normal walking pace.

The idea is great in theory. I didn't have to do anything crazy, and I didn't think I would feel embarrassed, because I literally wasn't allowed to try and get a fast time.

The reality, on the other hand, was way worse. As I got about half way done with the first of two laps, everyone else was done. So I'm just sitting there walking around the track slowly while my classmates are all sitting in the grass.

They all seemed to understand, so I was grateful. But then, the PE teacher said that everyone needed to go inside and could start playing dodgeball or whatever game they were going to play that day. Ok well.... that's really upsetting. I was to be left all alone on the track. EVERYONE was going to head back inside.

In a moment of kindness, the majority of girls in my class ran out onto the track and started walking with me in a moment of solidarity. They knew that I was embarrassed by the thought of them leaving me out there, and they wanted to support me because I had no choice in the matter.

I was overjoyed. I couldn't believe that the girls in my class would be so wonderful.

But then the PE teacher came back out from the school, walked onto the track, and started screaming at the girls. He told them that I didn't need anyone to walk with me and could do it alone. One of the girls yelled back at him that it was unfair to leave me out here alone and that they wanted to walk with me until I was finished. So he yelled back that if anyone stayed with me, they would get detention.

They all went back inside. I was devastated. I spent the last lap crying. I was so embarrassed.

I want to give the teacher the benefit of the doubt. I want to believe that he did this to try and make sure I wasn't embarrassed. Maybe he thought that being alone would be better than having people walk with me. I want to believe that he wouldn't be that cruel. I want to believe he was doing it with my best intention at mind.

But I also know that teacher. I spent quite a bit of time with him in PE and drivers' ed. He wasn't the nicest person in my personal experiences. And I'm not sure that he really gave a shit about me or anyone that wasn't good at PE... or anyone at all...

I just don't know. But I know that it was one of the worst days of my life. I was ashamed and embarrassed, and for really the first time in my life, learned what it meant to be truly alone.

The next year, I chose to skip taking PE. At the time, high school students were required to take at least two years of PE unless they were in a sport like basketball or volleyball. So instead of taking PE my sophomore year, I decided to wait and take it my senior year. Why suffer now when I can suffer later? Lol... great idea, right?

Well, it was a great idea. Because the next year, there were new rules. As long as a student was in a sport during a particular semester, they were exempt from PE. They changed the rule to include my sports: marching band in the fall and show choir in the spring. I was overjoyed to never have to take PE again. And honestly, it made sense. Marching band and show choir definitely include physical activity. That was my saving grace. I no longer had to embarrass myself in that class. 

I'm sure that a lot of people have experiences like mine. I got lucky in high school by only having to take one year of PE. Some kids probably didn't or don't get so lucky.

But the experiences from PE, a lot of them at least, will stick with me forever. Honestly, I think PE is a big reason I hate physical activity. I always feel judged and like I'm not good enough. It's stupid, but it's a little nugget of hatred in my brain that I have trouble removing.

PE made me feel incredibly alone and inadequate, and I will probably spend my entire life dealing with that trauma. 

So that's fun...

Vegan Cheese #1

As mentioned in a previous post, I have been trying some vegan cheeses. So here's the first of many vegan cheese posts.

Back before I knew that dairy wasn't a good thing for my body, I would keep all kinds of cheese in the house like styles and flavors for different kinds of food or by themselves. And when I realized I shouldn't have dairy, I essentially stopped having cheese at home.

I would only have cheese at home if I was making something special for dinner or for a special occasion. I know myself well enough to know that if I have cheese here all the time, I'm going to eat it, and I'll basically always be sick again. 

So now that I have found some options for vegan cheese, I can actually keep cheese around the house again, which has been a surprisingly big but happy adjustment.

So this was one of the first cheeses to catch my eye:

Oh, man, do I love cheddar cheese. So I was pretty jazzed about this one.

By itself, it's terrible. It's kind of like super stale cheddar cheese. But from what I've heard, you shouldn't eat it by itself. 

I went to Chipotle for lunch the same day I bought this cheese. I always get roughly the same thing:

Burrito bowl with steak, corn salsa, guac, cheese, rice and lettuce (and then a little hot sauce added later)

So this time, I thought that I would get it without the cheese, and try the vegan cheddar.

It took some getting used to with the vegan cheese, but it was surprisingly good. I was tempted to warm the bowl up a bit to try and get the cheese to melt, but it would have ruined the texture of the rest of it, so I thought better. 

The cheese itself has a weird texture and flavor, and I haven't really found much of a use for it since the burrito bowl, but I'm glad I have it. It may not be the best cheddar in the world (because real cheddar is the best, duh), but it was a good dupe...kind of.

I think that if this was the only vegan cheese on the market I would be really upset, but being just one of many options helps. From what I've heard, it's really good melted into a quesadilla or something similar 

It was a good start, for sure! And I'm excited to try it in other foods, as well.

Stay tuned for more. I have more vegan cheeses in my fridge, so more will be coming! 

Be Kind and Rewind.

My 10 year high school reunion is coming up this May. I don't really know how to feel about that other than old.

There might actually be a reunion, but I have no clue. There was apparently a 5 year reunion, but I wasn't invited.

If there is a 10 year reunion, I assume I will once again not be invited, and I'm okay with that (I wouldn't go anyway). It's partially because no one really liked me and I haven't kept in touch with anyone, and it's partially because I don't think anyone knows how to contact me anymore (which I am also totally okay with).

Plus, most of the people I went to high school with are now married with children. Good for them as long as they're happy. But that's definitely not my life. That's not what I want. And I don't really want to have small talk with a bunch of people I don't really like that I have literally nothing in common with other than going to school together so many years ago. 

High school sucked for me like I assume it sucked for pretty much everyone. I remember being miserable. I made the best of what I had been given, but I was bullied heavily because I was different. Some of it was my fault for trusting the wrong people, but I didn't deserve the emotional torture I got. I won't go into some of the shit that I went through because it really doesn't matter right now. I might talk about it on here eventually, but also maybe not. I don't know. I've been trying really hard to move on. I am who I am because of what I went through, and for that, at least, I'm grateful in a really sick way.

What I really want to talk about today is something much more painful for me.

A year or two ago, I was having a chat with an old high school friend on facebook. This person was one of my best friends, and I loved him dearly. We didn't keep in touch after high school like I had hoped we would, and I know that's partially my fault because I just wanted to move on from those days.

During this chat, he brought up some stuff that I was completely unaware of and shocked by. He said that I bullied him.

This absolutely broke my heart, and it's still painful to think about. He listed a lot of stuff I did to him, and honestly, I don't remember any of it. I don't remember breaking his heart over and over again through my actions and decisions. I was (and still am) so upset, and I told him as such.

I apologized profusely. I know that I can't undo the damage that I did to him. He got really upset with me because I didn't remember. I think he wanted me to fight with him and say that it didn't happen. I think he was looking for a fight or waiting for me to deny the stuff he said I did to him.

But here's the thing... I know that if I told my bullies how they treated me and how much it hurt, they wouldn't believe me or they would tell me I'm being dumb or whatever. I believe him when he says that I hurt him. And I owned up to it. Just because I don't remember it doesn't mean it didn't happen. His experience is his alone, and who am I to tell him he's wrong? I believe him when he says that I hurt him.

He has every right to be angry with me after the way I treated him. I only remember loving him and being close to him, but he sees it differently, and I so wish I could change that. I wish I could go back and be better to someone I considered my best friend.

He blocked me shortly after that... so I will never be able to continue to apologize. I will never be able to try and rectify the damage I caused.

This experience really made me think more introspectively about who I am and how I treat people. I never intentionally hurt people. I do my best to be kind. But high school me was just trying to survive. I was miserable and just trying to have fun and find ways out of the misery. And if I hurt people in the process, especially those I cared about, I'm devastated.

I know that not too many people read this, but if anyone I've ever hurt does, please know that I'm sorry. I may not remember what I did to you, but I don't remember a large portion of my high school and college experiences. I know that I sometimes didn't make the right choices, and I know that I can have a big mouth and say the completely wrong things. It's something I have spent the last few years really trying to work on. But I am so sorry to anyone I have hurt.

This has really been weighing on me for the last couple of years.

I wish that I could take more accountability for the things I did or didn't do in certain situations. I wish I could mend fences. 

This was a life lesson for me in a lot of ways. I need, and I think everyone needs, to remember that everyone has their own stories. Everyone has their own life experiences. Please be kind to other people. I know that's cheesy, but I think it's really important. You never know what's going on in someone else's life. You don't know what's going on in someone else's head or heart. You just don't know.

I do need to move on from this, though. I can't change who I was or what I did in the past. I can only work on myself now. I have been dwelling on this for so long, and I can't keep beating myself up by it. 

That may be wrong to say, because I sometimes wonder if the people who bullied me are aware of how they treated me and other people, but I have to let go of that. I can't change other people, and I can't turn back the hands of time.

Random Food Finds Part 2

 Oh, hello again!

On today's episode of random food finds, I give you two different types of frozen meals that have too much dairy and I shouldn't have eaten them but they looked really yummy.... Also, I regret my decision to buy them (not to spoil the ending).

First up, we have a Lobster Mac and Cheese. I was quite excited about this one. It looked so good, and I really wanted to try it. I got it from our local Aldi, and it was one of the foods that they had a small amount of and then once gone they would never have it again (probably). 

Side note, that's something I really appreciate about Aldi. So much of their food is seasonal or random food finds they get in store, and they're all marked as such. That way, when I find something I like, I have the expectation of whether or not I'll ever see it again.

Anyways, the mac and cheese is super easy to make. You pop it in the microwave for like 9 minutes and then it's done. Below is a photo of the box (and my cat, because he was super interested in it).

My stupid ass was so hungry and excited to try it that I forgot to take a picture of what it looked like all cooked. It definitely didn't look like the photo on the box... I couldn't really see the difference between the lobster and the noodles. It was just a sea of cream and noodles.

It had some really big lobster chunks (even though I couldn't really see them). The lobster was surprisingly tender considering they frozen and then microwaved. That was really impressive!

The cheese aspect, on the other hand, wasn't as good. It was as if cottage cheese and cream cheese had a baby. It was pretty unfortunate and didn't really have much flavor to it. The texture was really weird, and it had basically no cheesiness that I want when I eat mac and cheese.

I should have done something to it other than just leaving it as is. Usually, when I make any sort of food, I add my own spicing. This desperately needed salt and pepper. It also could have maybe used some paprika or dill maybe? It was just really bland. Maybe even some sort of hot sauce like sriracha would be really good.

I don't think I'd buy it again, to be honest, even if they offered it in the future. I just wasn't that impressed....

At the same time I bought the mac and cheese, I also bought a Shrimp & Lobster Bake. 

Once again, you pop it in the microwave for like 9 minutes, and it's good to go. 

This time, I actually remembered to take a picture because I wasn't as excited. Based on how the mac and cheese went, I really didn't have high hopes for this one.

As you can see, it doesn't really look very appetizing. I wouldn't really call it much of a bake, to be honest. It was like two layers of a lasagna noodles instead. The pasta was incredibly difficult to cut and then eat, partially because it was both overcooked and undercooked.. might be my fault somehow.  

This one was way too salty. I ended up adding a little pepper which helped with the overall flavor, but not enough to help with how damn salty it was. I drank a million bottles of water after this because I felt so dehydrated.

It was on the creamier side compared to the mac and cheese, but it didn't really taste all that cheesy. The box states it has a bunch of different types of cheeses, and although I got those cheeses in terms of texture, I really didn't get much cheese in the flavor. 

I also didn't really taste the shrimp or the lobster. It overall tasted kind of seafood-y, but nothing specific, which is something I was originally looking forward to because I really like shrimp. The flavor was mostly just like cream cheese with salt and noodle. 

I was pretty disappointed in it, to be honest.

Overall, these weren't my best finds. But ya know what, not every random food I find is going to be amazing. Sometimes, I am really disappointed. And with these two, I really was.

Not bad, but not good.

So yeah... I don't really know how to end this one... 

Bye? Lol

Me? Eat Cheese? Never!

 I am starting a journey. It won't be perfect, but I'm really going to try. This is the beginning of my story **Insert doink doink sound from Law and Order here**

A few years ago, I started really paying attention to my body. For what I think is the majority of my life, I would go to a restaurant and get sick afterwards. I would have stomach pains, diarrhea (TMI, sorry), and just feel so gross and sluggish. I never knew why until I really started to pay attention. 

I thought maybe I was overeating. I really like food... like a lot... so especially when I go out to eat, I sometimes (always) overdo it. But even when I tried to stick to only eating a little bit, I still experienced the same issues.

Turns out, I don't handle dairy well......

This was a devastating conclusion for me. I LOVE cheese. Like literally it's my favorite food of all time. 

When I was a kid, some of my favorite memories include large portions of cheese or other dairy products. 

For example, burger nights at my house were the BEST! My dad would grill up some burgers and we would have cheese and all the other goodies that should be on a burger, we would have freshly fried fries (they're originally frozen but still delicious), and MALTS! My mom and I loved the chocolate ones, but everyone else wanted vanilla, so she would make vanilla to give to my dad and my siblings, and then she'd make the chocolate. Because no one else wanted the chocolate, we would end up getting a ton of extra because once she added the chocolate, there was no going back to vanilla. 

We also would have our version of a picnic. We would do it inside (because ew, outdoors), lay out some tablecloths on the floor, and have a spread of meats and cheeses, fruits, veggies... it was the best. I remember just loving our picnics as a family.

These memories are such a big part of my life. It seems insignificant, but those times (among many others) meant and still mean so much to me.

So realizing that dairy was my issue caused a lot of strain. For a while, I thought that I could just eat cheese and I'd be fine, but I was still having issues because I would eat A LOT of cheese.

I've never really cared for milk unless there was chocolate in it. When I was in college, the nut milk trend got big, and I started buying soy milk to keep in my dorm. This was mainly because I only really used it for cereal, so regular milk would go bad so fricken quickly. Soy milk lasted so much longer. So I stopped using regular milk for the most part. This was long before I realized that dairy was an issue for me.

I use oat milk religiously now. I don't think I've bought regular milk in years.

But the daily usage of dairy doesn't end with cheese. Yogurt (I don't like non dairy yogurts, unfortunately), cottage cheese, some chocolates, etc. The more I paid attention, the more I noticed just how much dairy I was consuming every week.

Luckily for me, I have never really cared for ice cream. I've always preferred a sorbet instead. I've found some non dairy ice creams that I enjoy so those do the trick if I ever really want an ice cream fix. Nothing, though, can compare to malts... that's going to be a tough one...

I don't consider myself to be a health nut or a vegetarian or vegan or whatever, but I knew that I needed to make a change for the sake of my digestive system.

So I am on a journey. It really started a couple of weeks ago when I decided to try vegan cheese. I will probably make a couple of posts regarding my journey with these vegan cheeses, but so far, I have really enjoyed them.

I made a vegan grilled cheese the other day and it was SO GOOD! I'm making one for my boyfriend tonight because I was in heaven when I had one, and I want him to try it! I know he's just doing it to support me, but I appreciate that. If he doesn't like it, that's cool... more for me!

When I go out to eat, I will try to find something on the menu with less dairy in it. Instead of an alfredo sauce for my pasta, I will have a red sauce. Freshly grated cheese? No, thank you.

This doesn't mean I will be perfect. I will still consume some dairy products. But I think if the majority of what I eat here at home doesn't have dairy, it will be a big help to me.

I'm still going to splurge and have regular dairy cheese when I have my charcuterie boards with my boyfriend once or twice a year. I might still choose to have some ice cream from a local ice cream shop down the road from me. But I will try to lessen the quantity I have in order to not get sick.

The other night, I was out at a dinner for a birthday party with some family and family friends. I don't remember exactly what I said, but I think I mentioned something about not having extra cheese on my meal despite how badly I wanted it, and one of the family friends said, "Oh, are you vegan?" I laughed because I'm definitely not. The meal I ordered had a light lemon cream sauce, so like, no.... But I said that I'm trying really hard to be mostly dairy free because I don't do well with dairy.

She went into this really funny story (I won't get into details because it isn't necessarily pertinent) about how she doesn't deal with dairy well, either, but that doesn't stop her from eating all the cheese she can because she's obsessed with cheese. And girl, I get it. That's how I was for the longest time. I knew that I needed to cut back, but I persisted because of how much I love cheese.

I have no judgement for this woman. I hope that she doesn't suffer like I do when I eat copious amounts of a dairy product. I just finally got sick of being sick all the damn time.

Again, I will continue to eat dairy from time to time, but finding vegan cheese is going to be so much better for me in the long run. In just two weeks of using vegan cheese instead, I have noticed that I'm pooping better (sorry, TMI again), I wake up easier in the mornings, I have more energy, and I just all around feel better.

There are a few other changes I've made in my life, as well. For example, about a year or two ago, I gave up drinking coffee every single morning before work. Now, coffee is a treat I get from Starbucks on Saturday mornings when I'm doing my laundry and grocery shopping. If I need a caffeine boost on a work day, I make a pot of loose leaf tea.

I try to wash my face every night before bed. I am not always successful, but I try my hardest to do it every night. At this point, it helps me sleep better. It's like washing my face makes my body understand that it's almost bed time (to clarify, I also wash my face every single morning no matter what - it's the night time face wash that I am not always so successful at). 

I try to be in bed by 10 PM every night. My goal is to be asleep by 11. Again, not always successful, but I sure try.

I'm trying to get back into reading. I take long breaks from it, but it's one of my favorite things in the world, so I'm trying really hard to get back into reading.. at least a few chapters a day if I can.

I've been buying some healthier food options. I don't make food... I never really have. So I buy a lot of frozen meals and boxed meals and pre-made meals, etc.... So lately, I've been buying pre-made salads, which have been great. I buy vegetarian or vegan frozen meals that still have really good ingredients. I buy canned soup with no added bullshit. It's just veggies in a broth (always vegetarian and usually vegan). I'm not a vegetarian or vegan, but these meals I buy that are just make me feel better. I will probably talk more on this in a future blog.

I'm blogging again! That's a big thing for me!

These are just a few of the things I've been doing to try to get my shit together. After the rough year that 2020 was and the severe depression which is STILL lingering, I'm doing my best to get back to me. And these changes, although they aren't all super new, are helping!

The move to vegan cheese and not consuming as much dairy is going to be an interesting ride, but I'm actually really excited about it. Just ask my boyfriend.... LOL I kind of can't stop talking about it. Give me a couple more weeks and I'll probably shut up about it (except on here because I'm literally going on this journey and documenting it here). But yeah, I'm excited and passionate, and I'm ready to finally take this next step that I should have started years ago. But I'm here now, and that's what counts.

So along with literally a thousand different types of posts I'm going to make here, this is another sort of topic that I will discuss. 

Stay tuned!

Or don't.. 

You do you.